“Why Is This Even On The List?” – Rocky’s Crown Pub, Pacific Beach, San Diego

Rocky Balboa at least had that mean hook to put Mr. T down…

This is the sad story, of the night I reviewed Rocky’s Crown Pub…

Rocky’s Crown Pub has been heralded by many as having the best burger around. All over Yelp, reviews are raving: “OMG MY FAVORITE BURGER”, “THIS IS HANDS DOWN THE BEST BURGER I’VE EVER HAD”, or my personal favorite, “MY OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL VERDICT IS THAT ROCKY’S BEATS OUT HODADS”.

Better than Hodads… Ha, ha, ha… Anyway, ignoring the asinine statement above, let’s move on. Rocky’s Crown Pub is located in Pacific Beach, San Diego where the ——– You know what? Let’s skip the rest of the intro and get straight to it!

“1/2 Cheeseburger” vs. Dom

1/2 lb. Cheeseburger at Rocky's Crown Pub
1/2 lb. Cheeseburger at Rocky’s Crown Pub

Menu Name: 1/2 lb. Cheeseburger ($5.50)

  • Sesame-seed Bun
  • 1/2 Beef Patty
  • Cheddar Cheese
  • Red Onions
  • Tomatoes
  • Lettuce

Calorie Count: 800 approx.

Here. I’ve decided to do something different this time.

I’ve decided to give you a little inside look on actual review notes. And instead of making up some bullshit on how each part of this mediocre burger tasted, I’m going to show you guys my writing notes from the actual review… Enjoy!

– I don’t understand what the big deal about this place is

– It’s a normal backyard-grilled burger… Lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar cheese, mayo… The meat was cooked medium-rare w/out even asking for it

– I had to put mustard & mayo to the burger, as well as pepper and salt

– If you wait too long, the burger falls apart

– The meat has to be from a frozen patty

– If I hadn’t of added mayo and mustard to the burger, it would have severely lacked any real flavor

– A mediocre dive-bar burger

– These flavors go together, like we’ve all known for years, but I still don’t understand how this is rated even in the top 10 for SD

– The Fries: Super basic… Not salted, fried well but precut and frozen

And that’s a little peek into my notes while I’m out reviewing a burger. I was more sad than anything that night. I had been so excited to go to Rocky’s… Had heard such good things from multiple people as well as online, and to get there and have it taste as it did… Well, it was… Severely saddening.

So through this experience, I’ve made a decision:

I will not waste YOUR time, nor mine, by writing some piece of shit review, due to a lackluster burger. So, this burger shant get any grading, nor be put on any list, for it belongs to neither.

————————————–

I tried to publish just what you read above, but I couldn’t. I felt as though I was leaving you empty-handed, so here, take this as a token of gratitude for being a reader… And yo… Rocky’s… OH BONDAGE UP YOURS!

DSC_0394

From your friends here at 149051_10200093602076099_1367172757_n, goodnight.

23 Comments

Add yours →

  1. Its not a frozen patty why do you think that, just curious?

    • Well as I said in the post, those were my actual, word-for-word, review notes (I just want you/people to understand that it wasn’t an attempt to make a blatant remark, I was just copying my notes).
      But anyway, the quality of beef and the method in which it was cooked, had it tasting like a frozen patty. I remember when I was chewing through it, I just kept getting horrible flashbacks to when I was a child at a typical barbeque, and the style of burgers they served. They were bad, because the parents or whomever didn’t know how to properly cook a burger with proper ingredients. That’s how I felt at Rocky’s.

  2. It is frozen…just take a peek in the open door kitchen….by far the worst burger in the USA.. but hey when your stoned everything tastes great~

  3. I think their burger is top three in San Diego if you are rating just a regular bar burger.
    Here is why,
    They have a patten with the meat distributor which is their own combination which consist of beef, fat and if I remember right pork. They actually sold the rights to Big Kahuna in PB which also has very high reviews on their burger. The last thing is they cook meat like a butter burger which adds a lot of flavor. I hate to say it but they are popular and good for a reason its not a fluke.
    You should try Doods Burger (Tin Can Ale) in Bankers Hill I’m curious to see what your opinion is on them.

    • Yeah, I’ve never heard of Doods, I’ll have to check it out.
      I judge each burger first in its only style (bar), and then on my “The Buger List”, I judge solely the taste if the burger compared to every burger.
      And that’s fine to dissent from my review; however, I must have had the worst luck combined with the worst batch of burgers for myself and the others who were with me because it was super mediocre.
      Either that, or San Diego has poor standards for burgers.
      And I know the second one isn’t true because I’ve been to Hodad’s, Eureka, Bankers Hill, and Burger Lounge… All better burgers than Rocky’s by a long shot.

  4. This is a topic that is close to my heart… Best wishes! Where are
    your contact details though?

  5. I’m really impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog.
    Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself?
    Either way keep up the excellent quality writing,
    it’s rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays.

  6. I love what you guys are up too. This type of clever work and coverage!
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  7. “- If I hadn’t of added mayo and mustard”

    How is anyone supposed to take you seriously with horrible grammar like this?

  8. Sorry buddy, maybe you should stay of the CRACKS before eating. This burger may the beat I have ever had. It needed nothing. Nearly perfect.

  9. It is a good burger. Maybe your mistake was getting the 1/2 pound. Surface area/condiments. And maybe I grew up in an alternate universe, but putting ketchup and mustard on a burger is just what you do. If you’re looking for a snooty, high profile burger with a buttered bun and a knife stuck in it you’ll be disappointed. But for $6.25 you can get a Wendy’s burger or get a rockys burger. To me, it tastes like homemade on the grill burgers I grew up with. And there’s no way these are frozen. They are misshapen and lumpy, with pockets of delicious burger juice. Maybe you visited on a day they ran out of fresh pattys, which should speak for itself. Perhaps you should try them again. Every restaurant, even the butter bun knife restaurant, is prone to a bad dish now and then. And I will say the same about Hodad’s. The last time I ate there it was so slippery that after my second bite it fell apart and I was eating it in messy pieces. But eventually I’ll try them again because where there’s smoke there’s fire.

    • I agree that the 1/3 might have been a better option considering I would’ve received less of the over-charred and bland flavor of the beef. But the problem still remained that there were no condiments presented on my burger when I received it. I’m not sure what you mean by snooty, or high profile burger? If you mean a burger with all quality ingredients, or a burger that is made with love, (which is what I was expecting a little, to be honest), then yes I totally agree with you. But why are you putting Wendy’s next to Rocky’s when there is a plethora of burgers to choose from in that price bracket. Especially considering In-N-Out is even cheaper! And of course restaurants run out of stuff, I get it, but then tell me and I would’ve came back on a day where I would’ve spent money on a piece of shit. Maybe if I get dragged back to that part of town, I’ll give it a second go. I think it would be fair, been a few years…

  10. Obviously the author of this is a pretentious fuck.

  11. As a resident of PB, I totally agree. Rocky’s burgers are nothing to rave home about. I think the reason people only rank Rocky’s so high is because they might be slightly drunk and will eat anything. There are WAY better burger places in SD than Rocky’s.

  12. Your comments are bordeline stupid. One day whn you stop being a faggot controlled by corporate interest you might actually learn a thing or two.

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