Rocky Balboa at least had that mean hook to put Mr. T down…
This is the sad story, of the night I reviewed Rocky’s Crown Pub…
Rocky’s Crown Pub has been heralded by many as having the best burger around. All over Yelp, reviews are raving: “OMG MY FAVORITE BURGER”, “THIS IS HANDS DOWN THE BEST BURGER I’VE EVER HAD”, or my personal favorite, “MY OFFICIAL UNOFFICIAL VERDICT IS THAT ROCKY’S BEATS OUT HODADS”.
Better than Hodads… Ha, ha, ha… Anyway, ignoring the asinine statement above, let’s move on. Rocky’s Crown Pub is located in Pacific Beach, San Diego where the ——– You know what? Let’s skip the rest of the intro and get straight to it!
“1/2 Cheeseburger” vs. Dom
Menu Name: 1/2 lb. Cheeseburger ($5.50)
- Sesame-seed Bun
- 1/2 Beef Patty
- Cheddar Cheese
- Red Onions
Calorie Count: 800 approx.
Here. I’ve decided to do something different this time.
I’ve decided to give you a little inside look on actual review notes. And instead of making up some bullshit on how each part of this mediocre burger tasted, I’m going to show you guys my writing notes from the actual review… Enjoy!
– I don’t understand what the big deal about this place is
– It’s a normal backyard-grilled burger… Lettuce, tomatoes, cheddar cheese, mayo… The meat was cooked medium-rare w/out even asking for it
– I had to put mustard & mayo to the burger, as well as pepper and salt
– If you wait too long, the burger falls apart
– The meat has to be from a frozen patty
– If I hadn’t of added mayo and mustard to the burger, it would have severely lacked any real flavor
– A mediocre dive-bar burger
– These flavors go together, like we’ve all known for years, but I still don’t understand how this is rated even in the top 10 for SD
– The Fries: Super basic… Not salted, fried well but precut and frozen
And that’s a little peek into my notes while I’m out reviewing a burger. I was more sad than anything that night. I had been so excited to go to Rocky’s… Had heard such good things from multiple people as well as online, and to get there and have it taste as it did… Well, it was… Severely saddening.
So through this experience, I’ve made a decision:
I will not waste YOUR time, nor mine, by writing some piece of shit review, due to a lackluster burger. So, this burger shant get any grading, nor be put on any list, for it belongs to neither.
I tried to publish just what you read above, but I couldn’t. I felt as though I was leaving you empty-handed, so here, take this as a token of gratitude for being a reader… And yo… Rocky’s… OH BONDAGE UP YOURS!