Day in and day out, we are bombarded by images that say you need to look a certain way, advertisements that literally tell you how to think, and a social culture defined by reality television. All these things, along with the lack of identity Coachella spews out to it’s fans, teach us that in order to “fit in”, we need to partake in the late night, binge drinking cluster-fuck that is the United States youth.
Well folks, I’m here to tell you that I don’t subscribe to this shit-show of people. Yes, I enjoy sitting on the couch. Yes, I am obsessed with Game of Thrones. Yes, if I could continually stuff food in my mouth, without losing all respect from those that I love, I would. Just those 3 things: 1. Couch, 2. GOT, and 3. Food, all sound much better than a night spending way too much money, surrounded by people that just wanna get a lay on, and the general lack of humanity.
Therefore, I give you these 8 Reasons Why Eating Yourself To Sleep Is Better.
1. FOOD AND SLEEP
Food and sleep. I’m talking to you stoners out there. This is an activity for you guys, so do it right.
2. NOT WAKING UP TO VOMIT
Every time I go out and get “wasted”, the next morning is absolute shit. Literally, and figuratively. I’m too old…
3. VIDEO GAMES
Sometimes, I don’t want to talk to you, I just want to touch you. Sometimes I just wanna game-cuddle.
4. MOVIES/TV, WHICH REALLY MEANS SEX
Come on, you can’t tell me that Frodo and Sam’s relationship didn’t put you in the mood…
The kitchen “too girly” for you? Too much work? A “woman-sport”? That’s not what Jessica said when I fed her my pan-fried italian sausage with caramelized onions, honey glazed and roasted bell peppers, with a touch of a pesto aioli lying on these puerto rican sweet buns.
6. NO DOUCHEBAGS
But in subhuman form.
7. CREATING MUSIC/ART
Even if you can’t “play” anything, there are rocks, and solid surfaces… Take the rock. Then hit the solid surface… There you go.
Learn more about everything. Pick up a comic book and learn some emotion, pick up a cook book and learn some science. TRY TO MAKE YOURSELF BETTER.
So the next time you’re bored, or just feel like going out and getting drunk, try doing one of these things by yourself, or with a significant other. I promise you, you’ll like yourself a lot better that next morning… And you might have even learned a thing or two.