* The Burger Laws *

Commandment #1:

Thou shalt never eat a burger, when the cheese has not fully melted.

Commandment #2: 

Thou shalt always have a steak knife — or better, to cut thy burger.

Commandment #3:

Thou shalt only eat a burger, cooked to a medium-rare.

Commandment #4:

There is no such thing as a “veggie-burger”… I’m sorry. Now if you mean to order a faux-burger, it’s called a “veggie-sandwhich-on-a-hamburger-bun”.

Commandment #5:

Just because you put a bazillion toppings on a burger, does not make it good.

Commandment #6:

There is no such thing as a cheese-burger, for a real burger always has cheese.

Commandment #7:

Whilst devouring thou burger, only water shall be drank, for it cleanses the palette while devoid of contact with peasant flavors.

Commandment #8:

The fries are important to the burger. Just as Robin is important to Batman.

Commandment #9:

Burger joints with the name “Burger” in the title, will prove to be mediocre.

Commandment #10:

A burgers’ most important facet, is the quality of beef used in the patty.

Commandment #11:

 Thou shall always use two-hands whilst deflowering thou burger.

Commandment #12:

Thou shalt leave no fry behind.

Commandment #13:

People can eat whatever they want… As long as it’s a burger.


Add yours →

  1. Commandment 14. There is never an inappropriate time of day to consume they burger – be it breakfast, lunch, dinner, or midnight feast – for a burger is not limited
    by the 4th dimension of time.

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